I follow the Code of Ethics of the Association of Somatic and Integrative Sexologists.
I am the co-founder with Katie Sarra of the Sea School of Embodiment which presents leading-edge international trainings in somatic sexology for the public as well as for other sexuality professionals.
My story of how I came to this work
I was raised by parents who were very liberal and open minded. Although I was born in England all my family are Danish. We spoke Danish at home and I was brought up in an atmosphere where it was perfectly acceptable to discuss sexual matters openly and matter of factly. In particular, nudity was normalised as opposed to English culture where nudity is generally sexualised. Because of this, nudity is not sensational for me. This supports my practice in that I am completely comfortable with nudity. Nudity is not a titillating experience for me and the men and women I have worked with appreciate my kindness and acceptance around the human body in its naturalness. This can be deeply facilitating for women who have body image issues as well as those women who feel they have been objectified by predatory men.
I was raised as Danish in England and when I visited Denmark I did not fit in as I was identifiably not 100% Danish. I felt like an outsider in either camp. This has given me an appreciation of the experience of otherness.
As a child I was bought books like “Where did I come from” which explained the mechanics of love and sex. Being a voracious reader, from the age of 8 years old I also read many adult books on sexology (I was an early sex geek!). Kinsey was a particular influence, especially his discovery that many people's sexual behaviour is very different to what they say they do. For example, he found that a large proportion of people who identify as straight have had same-sex encounters, and conversely that many or most people who identify as homosexual have had opposite sex encounters. All groups tended to lie about their behaviour to maintain their image of themselves demonstrating that sexual identity and sexuality in practice are very different, more fluid and much less rigid than our theories about who we are or how we wish to be seen by society.
"I refer all my female clients to Kian because he cannot be seduced. He is totally in service to his clients coming into their full erotic potential without manipulation, seduction or illusion".
K. S., Sex & Relationship Therapist
I taught myself massage and tantra from books in my teens and dreamt of studying for a degree at the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco. In the end, the IASHS being a private institution, I completed my first degree in Inter-disciplinary Human Studies at Bradford University and my second at the University of Westminster.
While at University I continued exploring my sexuality. To me, expressing myself erotically was and is to feel warm, love, in touch with the divine, presence, vibrance, vibrating in every atom, exhilarated, alive. It's all the more amazing to me because it is innate, generated from within this same body which can also enage in more mundane experiences. I'm not taking something in alien, I am just breathing and feeling. I feel in touch with the universe and in tune with evenrthing, in touch with myself and fully in the moment.
Like anyone who discovers something wonderful, I wanted to share my passion with the world, as I still do. I telephoned a number of disabled charities inquiring about their provision for the sexual life of disabled people. I was met with the fact that no provision had been made by any of them. I did, however, make contact with Tuppy Owens, who I later worked with, founder of The Outsiders and the Sexual Health & Disability Alliance (SHADA).
At Bradford Univrsity I studied Wilhelm Reich, the renowned student of Freud who linked sexual repression to individual illness and state repression. After exploring Reichian therapy and breathwork I took the Sacred Intimate Training with Body Electric at Wildwood, California in 1994; an in-depth training in Taoist Erotic Massage, anal massage, breathwork and midwifery to the dying.
On my return to England I started taking other tantric trainings, which I continue to do, and co-facilitated the SkyDancing peer practice group at the Open Centre in London. I furthered my study of bodywork during 5 months in Poona, India in 1996, learning Osho Rebalancing (which is essentially identical with Jack Painter’s Postural Integration, itself a fusion of Rolfing and Reichian bodywork). I received Sannyas there and have worked under my Sannyasin name of Gyan Nisarg although I now prefer my birth name as it feels more authentic.
In 2005 I received a BSc Hons degree in Health Sciences: Nutritional Therapy from the University of Westminster which had fascinating bio-medical components including anatomy and physiology, bio-chemistry, pharmacology and differential diagnosis as well as the application of nutrition for optimal physical and mental health.
Other areas I have worked in include magazine sub-editing and martial arts tuition. I have been a panel judge on the Grand Jury for Conspicuous Sensuality with Tuppy Owens for the Erotic Awards. My participation in men’s work has included work with Michael Meade & Malidoma Somé, The Edward Carpenter Community and on-going involvement with The ManKind Project.
More recently, since 2008 I have been studying shamanism and shamanic sexuality (Quodoushka) with the Deer Tribe Metis Medicine Society which has opened up a vast new perspective on sexual health and the many varieties of sexual expression and experience.